I want to be a breeder
A breeder's what I'll be
Although I'm kind of ditsy
It doesn't look hard to me.

I don't like the breeding part
I don't like it at all
The female's kind of short
And the male's way to tall.

She doesn't like the male
It's obvious you see
Now I'm supposed to put her
Across my aching knee.

Oh great, he's got it now
I hope that I can last
My backs about to break
One hour now has passed.

Well the messy part is over
I'll just sit and wait
For all the puppies I'll have
They'll all be first rate.

I don't like the whelping part
I don't like it at all
What an awful mess they make
To deliver something so small.

Well the whelping part is over
I haven't slept a wink
Do I really like this ?
I'm too tired to think.

Now all my work is done
What else can they're be
I'll just sit and wait
For buyers to come and see.

Oh darn they messed the papers
How was I to know
That something so small
Could go, and go, and go.

You mean I have to feed them ?
How hard can it be ?
I'll mix it up in a bowl,
Put it down for them to see.

Slow down you little devils
You each have a space
Oh no, that one fell in
It's all over his face.

They used to look like puppies
Now they're an awful mess
Would someone please tell me
When I get some rest !

Now that they are older
My pocket book is looking thin
I used to have some money
Then the vet bill came in.

Now finally it's time to sell them
I'll love the selling part
The hard jobs are all over
The phone calls will soon start.

Oh here comes the first buyer
A young lady and her son
What did she mean when she said
She wanted two for the price of one !

To the people I've seen today
I'm tired of saying "NO"
Then there are the idiots
Who make appointments and don't show.

I don't like keeping puppies
I don't like it at all
Their appetites have grown
Since they're no longer small.

Now six months have passed
And I'm on bended knees
Still picking up the poop
From remaining puppies.

I said it didn't look hard
Now I say it with a smile
I won't be trying this again
Not for a very long, long while.

Carol Kufner

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